When I think of Barbara Brill, these words of a famous Nat “King” Cole song play in my mind: “Unforgettable, that’s what you are.”
Life dealt Barbara Brill a difficult hand, but she never let cerebral palsy get in her way.
She moved, oh so slowly, but her mind was lightning quick. She earned a Masters in speech therapy and helped many people overcome their verbal challenges.
One of my favorite Midrashim teaches that since the time God finished the work of creation, the Eternal One has been very busy arranging marriages. To me there is no better proof of that tradition than Mike and Barbara Brill. They were truly meant for each other. They met at Camp Green Tot, a camp for physically challenged kids when they were nine years old. Barb remembers that Mike liked another girl, but he gave Barb candy just to make the other girl jealous. “Well one thing led to another,” as Barb put it, and they became a couple.
They married on January 24, 1960 and blessed each other’s life as husband and wife for nearly 51 years.
They worked as a team whose handicaps and strengths coordinated like meshing gears. Mike moved fast but spoke with difficulty. Barbara moved slowly but spoke perfectly.
On December 8, 1979, Barbara mounted the bima of Temple Isaiah and became an adult Bat Mitzvah. She read the story of Jacob’s struggle with God to become Yisrael – one who struggles with God – and how he walked with a limp ever after. She taught the congregation a great deal that day about how her life was a living embodiment of that struggle.
Barb was part of Temple Isaiah’s first ever adult Bat Mitzvah class. For a whole year the group studied together. Then, each chose the portion of the Torah that meant the most to her. On the Shabbat that portion was read, the other members of the class divided up the morning prayers, and the person whose portion fell on that week read from the scroll and taught the congregation the meaning of the portion. Barb identified with Jacob because she herself walked only with the aid of crutches attached to her hands. “I chose this portion,” Barb said, “ because I understand what it is like having to walk through life with a limp.”
And yet, like Jacob prevailed in his struggle, Barb met and prevailed over the many challenges she faced in her life.
Very rarely did Barbara and Mike miss services at Temple Isaiah, and then only if one of them was not well. I remember standing outside the Meeting House in Oakland Mills one Friday night when there was a serious snowstorm, wondering if anyone else would show up. But the Brills were there. I can still see Barb gingerly and carefully placing her crutches on the ice as I held my breath with each step she took.
Barbara and Mike Brill’s fondest wish was that they could become parents. “There is no way,” I thought, “that they could handle a child.” But they knew differently. They tried tirelessly to adopt for ten years, but they had no success. You would think most people would give up after that amount of time, but not Barbara and Mike Brill.
One day a miracle occurred.
They visited the Gallagher Center where they tried to help kids. A little girl came over and sat in Barb’s lap. She spent time living with the Brills and eventually they adopted her. She was wild and hard to control, but Barb and Mike gave her abundant love, structure and discipline. In her new home Ellen thrived and made enormous progress thanks to her loving and devoted parents.
Five years later, Ellen tragically died when she was run over by a car. Barb and Mike’s sadness was impossible to describe.
But Barb and Mike did not give up.
The adopted a son, Kevin, several years later because they had so much love to give and so much to teach a young boy about life’s challenges.
When Mike died in 2010, I feared Barb might fall apart. I need not have worried. Just as she had met and overcome every other challenge life threw onto her path, Barbed limped forward with courage and determination. By living until age 86, she defied all the actuarial predictions of life spans for those afflicted with cerebral palsy.
Barb, I hope and trust you were able to hear the last phone message I left for you before Shabbat last Friday:
“You have been an enormous inspiration on my life. Whenever, I feel frustrated by the little challenges in my own life, I think of all that you have overcome.”
Had I thought of it, I would have added, “Unforgettable, that’s what you are!”
January 31, 2023
When I think of Barbara Brill, these words of a famous Nat “King” Cole song play in my mind: “Unforgettable, that’s what you are.”
Life dealt Barbara Brill a difficult hand, but she never let cerebral palsy get in her way.
She moved, oh so slowly, but her mind was lightning quick. She earned a Masters in speech therapy and helped many people overcome their verbal challenges.
One of my favorite Midrashim teaches that since the time God finished the work of creation, the Eternal One has been very busy arranging marriages. To me there is no better proof of that tradition than Mike and Barbara Brill. They were truly meant for each other. They met at Camp Green Tot, a camp for physically challenged kids when they were nine years old. Barb remembers that Mike liked another girl, but he gave Barb candy just to make the other girl jealous. “Well one thing led to another,” as Barb put it, and they became a couple.
They married on January 24, 1960 and blessed each other’s life as husband and wife for nearly 51 years. They worked as a team whose handicaps and strengths coordinated like meshing gears. Mike moved fast but spoke with difficulty. Barbara moved slowly but spoke perfectly.
On December 8, 1979, Barbara mounted the bima of Temple Isaiah and became an adult Bat Mitzvah. She read the story of Jacob’s struggle with God to become Yisrael – one who struggles with God – and how he walked with a limp ever after. She taught the congregation a great deal that day about how her life was a living embodiment of that struggle.
Barb was part of Temple Isaiah’s first ever adult Bat Mitzvah class. For a whole year the group studied together. Then, each chose the portion of the Torah that meant the most to her. On the Shabbat that portion was read, the other members of the class divided up the morning prayers, and the person whose portion fell on that week read from the scroll and taught the congregation the meaning of the portion. Barb identified with Jacob because she herself walked only with the aid of crutches attached to her hands. “I chose this portion,” Barb said, “ because I understand what it is like having to walk through life with a limp.”
And yet, like Jacob prevailed in his struggle, Barb met and prevailed over the many challenges she faced in her life.
Very rarely did Barbara and Mike miss services at Temple Isaiah, and then only if one of them was not well. I remember standing outside the Meeting House in Oakland Mills one Friday night when there was a serious snowstorm, wondering if anyone else would show up. But the Brills were there. I can still see Barb gingerly and carefully placing her crutches on the ice as I held my breath with each step she took.
Barbara and Mike Brill’s fondest wish was that they could become parents. “There is no way,” I thought, “that they could handle a child.” But they knew differently. They tried tirelessly to adopt for ten years, but they had no success. You would think most people would give up after that amount of time, but not Barbara and Mike Brill.
One day a miracle occurred. They visited the Gallagher Center where they tried to help kids. A little girl came over and sat in Barb’s lap. She spent time living with the Brills and eventually they adopted her. She was wild and hard to control, but Barb and Mike gave her abundant love, structure and discipline. In her new home Ellen thrived and made enormous progress thanks to her loving and devoted parents.
Five years later, Ellen tragically died when she was run over by a car. Barb and Mike’s sadness was impossible to describe.
But Barb and Mike did not give up. The adopted a son, Kevin, several years later because they had so much love to give and so much to teach a young boy about life’s challenges.
When Mike died in 2010, I feared Barb might fall apart. I need not have worried. Just as she had met and overcome every other challenge life threw onto her path, Barbed limped forward with courage and determination. By living until age 86, she defied all the actuarial predictions of life spans for those afflicted with cerebral palsy.
Barb, I hope and trust you were able to hear the last phone message I left for you before Shabbat last Friday:
“You have been an enormous inspiration on my life. Whenever, I feel frustrated by the little challenges in my own life, I think of all that you have overcome.”
Had I thought of it, I would have added, “Unforgettable, that’s what you are!”
Finding Ourselves In The Bible 