Fragile … and Frightened

~ slfuchs

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The New Year creeps ever closer. On this last Shabbat of 5778 I feel fragile and frightened. 

Since our return from Germany in June, my summer has been dedicated to deciding to have shoulder surgery, anticipating surgery, having the surgery and recovering from it.

Six weeks post op, I still deal with pain and the inability to use my right arm at all.

The good news — and it is VERY good news — is both my surgeon and my physical therapist say this is normal. The operation was “massive” but successful. With time, patience and lots of physical therapy I can look forward to a full recovery.

I am working hard on that in therapy and at the gym.

But in the meantime …

  • Tonight I shall conduct Shabbat services for the first time since my surgery.
  • I feel fragile and frightened.
  • My strength and energy are not nearly 100%.
  • I cannot even think about holding or carrying the Torah, let alone lifting it high above my head after the reading as I so love to do.

The congregation will surely understand my limitations. But will I?

At my very best, the Days of Awe require an enormous outpouring of emotional, spiritual and physical strength.

And so I turn to you O God!

Be gracious to me, for I need Your help.

Although months from now, I can hope for a complete physical recovery, I must stand and deliver meaningful spiritual guidance TONIGHT and during the holy days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur just ahead.

Although I feel fragile and frightened, let me act as if I am not.

Help me, Eternal One, to serve You and the people who are counting on me in ways that will find favor in Your sight.

Amen

Published by slfuchs

Loving husband, father, grandfather and rabbi. Author of, "What's in It for Me? Finding Ourselves in Biblical Narratives,” "ToraHighlights,” “Why the Kof?,” “Why Triple Chai?,” "Who Created God?," and "...And Often the First Jew." On October 17, 2017, Rabbi Fuchs was selected as the recipient of the Vanderbilt Divinity School's Distinguished Alumnus Award. To be considered for this award, one must demonstrate excellence and distinction in justice-making through their efforts in congregational ministry, religious institutions, non-denominational/all-inclusive organizations, community–based organizations, government, or other social institutions. Spent last four falls serving in Milan, Italy, (2013) and Germany (2014-2016). Otherwise, he enjoy writing and speaking after serving three congregations and as President of the World Union for Progressive Judaism. He is currently serving as Rabbi of Bat Yam Temple of the Islands, Sanibel, Florida.

14 thoughts on “Fragile … and Frightened”

  2. But Never forget, Rabbi, though you are “Fragile …and Frightened”, you have enormous spiritual strength , giving hope and guidance to those who are finding themselves in Much worse shape than You ! ” …No, the thing is close to you, in your mouth and in your heart to do it “!!!

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  3. You are way too hard on yourself .💜 Talk about what you are struggling with during your sermon. Everyone can learn much from your experience . You’ve got this! 🙏

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  7. The limitations of our fragile bodies — rooted in Nature — can, and do, teach us so much …. It is indeed a “relationship,” (“im-personal” in nature)… one that of which forces us to fall back upon (and develop) our “intra-personal” resources, and arrive in conclusion to new and grater self-knowledge, with the concluding realization of the “Miracle of Health.”

    Patience, perseverance, and discipline will see you through to victory. Rabbi Fuchs.

    L’shana Tovah!

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